


The Light in the Darkness

by libraryseraph



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Vague References to Past Abuse, vague references to past torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1449877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libraryseraph/pseuds/libraryseraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theon doesn't understand Jeyne's kindness, but he knows he wants it</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Light in the Darkness

Theon stared at the door. Hunger and fear gnawed at his insides, but he ignored them. He shouldn't be afraid, he knew that. He wasn't condemned anymore, he was allowed to live. He knew that didn't really make a difference. He would always be a turncloak, and everybody would always revile him. Not that he would blame them if they did. He burrowed deeper into his corner and pulled his blanket up over his shoulders.   
Footsteps scuffed on the floor outside his door: many, of heavy, booted feet. Theon froze, his entire body tensing painfully. He could hear gruff voices now, and a terrified whine escaped his throat before he could stop it. The door creaked open, and-  
"Thank you for your help." A girl's voice. Jeyne. Theon relaxed a little; if she was here, she wouldn't let them hurt him. He peeked over his blanket, and saw Jeyne stoking the embers in the fireplace back to life, while the men placed their burdens in the room and left. When it was just the two of them remaining, she crossed the room to kneel in front of him.  
"Theon?" Her voice was low and gentle. He nodded  
"Jeyne?" his voice was rough and cracked from disuse. "What- what are you...?"  
"Sssshh..." She looked at him tenderly, and then she actually touched him, stroking his filthy, matted hair with a small, gentle hand. "I'm going to get you cleaned up." Theon opened his mouth to protest, but she was still stroking his hair, and he didn't want her to stop. "It's just the two of us, that's good, right? You don't have to be afraid."   
He wasn't afraid of Jeyne, he knew that, so he nodded and stood up. Jeyne poured the hot water into the tub resting in front of the fire, adding soap until bubbles floated on the surface like summer clouds. She straightened up, smiling encouragingly at him. "Are you ready?"  
He nodded, and her hands went to the ties of his tunic. Theon allowed her to remove it, raising his arms so she could pull it over his head, but when she reached for the laces of his breeches, he cringed away.   
"I'm sorry. You undress the rest of the way, and get into the tub. I won't look." Jeyne stepped back and turned away, letting Theon yank his breeches off and slip into the tub, hiding under the water. Jeyne stroked his hair again. "Is the water warm enough?"   
"Yes." it was more than warm: it was heavenly. Theon could already feel the dirt dissolving off his body. "It feels wonderful. Thank you, Jeyne"  
The way she smiled at that warmed him further. He began to wash himself, starting with his face and hands. He was vaguely surprised at how filthy he was, and how satisfying it was to see the dirt flake away. When his front was clean, he tried to turn his attentions to his back, but the soap and cloth slipped from his stiff hands.   
"Jeyne?" he swallowed. "Can- can you help me?"  
She nodded, rolling her sleeves up and fishing the soap and cloth out of the water. Theon leaned forwards. As her hands first touched him, he tensed at the feel of another's hands on him, barely managing to keep himself from flinching away. However, he soon realized that Jeyne was different. Her touch was firm and tender, and her hands moved over the scarred wasteland of his back like he was something deserving of tenderness. It brought tears to his eyes, and he sobbed once. Jeyne stopped her washing.  
"Theon? Am I hurting you?"  
He managed to shake his head. "No. Please. It feels good. Keep going."  
Her hands were still gentle when she began washing him again. He wanted to tell her she didn't need to bother, he barely noticed rough treatment anymore. Just not being hurt was good enough, but her hands were so unbearably tender, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. She finished washing his back, and combed her fingers through his hair.   
"Theon, I need to cut your hair. It's too tangled to clean"  
Theon had guessed she would say that, but his heart lept into his throat anyways.   
"Do you want to do it yourself?"  
He unclenched his hands. They were shaking uncontrollably, and he couldn't seem to stop them.   
"No, you do it."  
Theon heard Jeyne shift behind him, and take a clump of his hair in her hand. "Please, tell me if I hurt you."  
She cut his hair and shaved his beard as carefully as she could. Theon held himself perfectly still and tried to ignore the knife. Jeyne was gentle and precise with her movements, and she didn't hurt him at all, but Theon still sagged with relief when she put the knife down.  
"You look better." she ruffled his short hair and smiled at him. "Do you want to wash your hair?"  
Theon shook his head. "No. You do it." he thought he could do it himself, but he wanted Jeyne to do it, so he could soak up more of this unfamiliar compassion. Jeyne rubbed soap into his hair, massaging his scalp tenderly with the tips of her fingertips. Theon lent back towards her, feeling a strange sense of peace steal over him. His eyelids fluttered closed, and he felt his body relax and loosen. _Please gods, this feels so good. Don't let it stop._ It wasn't just the sensations. It was Jeyne herself. Just thinking of her filled him with warmth.   
Jeyne stroked his face. "I'm finished. There are clothes next to the tub." She turned away while he rose from the now tepid water. The clothes were soft and warm, plain yet finer than anything he'd worn in ages.   
Jeyne smiled at him gently when he turned around. "You look good."  
Theon shook his head. He would never really look good again. "You look good too." That wasn't a lie. Her face had filled out and regained colour, and her eyes were bright.   
"Thank you." she took his hand, and reached up to touch his face. "Those are just nightclothes, we'll get you something proper to wear tomorrow."   
"Thank you." Theon reached out tentatively, and brushed Jeyne's face with his left hand, the one missing two fingers. He wished Jeyne wasn't holding his better hand, but she didn't seem to mind. She stepped closer to him, and she stroked the side of his face. Theon could feel her warmth. He felt strangely anticipatory, although he couldn't say for what. He just wanted to make Jeyne feel as good as she had made him.   
"Theon?"   
Theon moved his hand to caress the silky stands of her hair. "I just wanted to say-"  
A knock at the door interrupted them, and they practically lept apart. Jeyne went to answer the door. Theon's legs wobbled, and he managed to make it to the bed before he collapsed.   
"Theon, it's just dinner. Don't worry."  
He nodded weakly, his heart still pounding in his ears. He stayed curled up on the bed until he was sure he had been left alone with Jeyne again.   
"Theon." she took him by his hands, and led him to the table. "Come eat."   
The table was set for two. There was soup and bread, and even a small goblet of wine for both of them. He sat down in front of one of the places, and took a tentative spoonful, looking to Jeyne for approval. "Please. Eat."  
He took a spoonful, and than another. He had meant to eat slowly, to savour it, but he couldn't stop. The soup was thick and hearty, full of chunks of soft meat and turnip. He soaked the bread in it until it was soft enough to eat. He wolfed it all down and drained his goblet in a few swallows.  
"Jeyne?" She looked up at him, setting her spoon by her own bowl.  
"Why- why are you doing this? What do you want?" He lowered his eyes deferentially  
"Theon..."  
"I'm not any use anymore, but I can try to repay you. I can serve you, if you want."  
She walked to his seat and put her hands on his shoulders. "Theon, I don't need you to serve me. I just want to look after you." She stroked his hair, tilting his face up to meet hers.  
"I have to do something-"   
Jeyne leaned closer, wrapping her arms around him. "You can look after me then. We'll look after each other."  
The strange thing was, the way she said it, he almost believed he could do it. "Yes. I think I can do that."  
"I know you can." She pressed her lips to the top of his head. Theon reached out and took her face as gently as he could. He raised his face, and clumsily pressed his lips to hers. It was only a pale shadow of the kisses he used to give other women, but he felt her smile into it, and her arms go more securely around him. When she stood up, he followed her to the bed. Jeyne yanked the covers back, frowning slightly as she did so.  
"Theon? Have you even slept in here?"  
Theon stared at the ground. "No, I'm sorry. I can't remember the last time I slept in a real bed. I'm not used to it anymore."  
"Well then, I think it's time we fixed that."  
Theon clambered into the bed, yanking the covers up around his shoulders and burrowing into the bed. He opened his eyes.  
"Jeyne?"  
"Yes?"   
"Can you stay tonight? I mean, I want you here other times too, but I just-"  
"I know. I will." She pulled the covers up so she could slide into bed next to him. The bed was small, so she laid right next to him. Her arms moved, and she pulled the covers up over both of their heads, before wrapping her arms around him and pulling him to her chest. One of her arms wrapped around his back, and her other hand cradled his head gently. Theon couldn't remember ever being held like this. It stilled the angry, churning fear in his chest, and in its place, a sensation of strange peace came over him. He looped one arm around Jeyne, and felt her relax.   
"Don't go anywhere." She whispered. Theon's heart lept in his chest.  
"Believe me, leaving you is-" he swallowed, too overcome by emotion to speak. "The last thing I want to do right now."  
Jeyne stroked his back. Her affection was like a lifeline, and Theon clung to it tightly. He was clean and warm, with a full belly, and being held securely by someone who actually seemed to care for him. Jeyne sighed contentedly in his arms. For the first time in months, Jeyne Poole and Theon Greyjoy fell asleep content, without fear of what tomorrow would bring


End file.
